Parents
Lisa posted this quote on her blog and asked us to respond:
I am unbelievably fortunate. I was brought up in a loving, two parent family. Almost all my friends' parents were still married too. It wasn't until I was out of college that I became close friends with people with divorced parents."It doesn't matter who your parents are or how wealthy or sick or ambivalent your realtionship with them is, they will always be the most powerful people in your life. They will be the ones whose approval you will always crave. They will be the ones who hold the power to elate or crush you with a word....your parents will always be the people who juggle knives over your heart. If you're lucky, they'll know it and juggle carefully."
[from Lani Diane Rich's novel "Ex and the Single Girl"]
My parents didn't always agree on everything but they were always a team. Watching them I learned the importance of liking, not just loving your spouse. They'd sing to the radio in the car. They'd laugh and laugh until the tears were rolling down their faces telling stories of when they were dating.
They were there for every concert, every game, every marching band competition, every milestone and important day in my life. I had a built-in fan club. They made the decision to send me to a private high school. I didn't want any part of it. But the only choice I had was this: all girls or co-ed? I chose co-ed. High school was one of the best experiences of my life and I have my parents to thank for that.
Now I'm 37 years old. And my mom still comes to my concerts. That's a great feeling to know you've got someone in the audience who came just to see you.
My mother is patient, graceful, gracious, smart, athletic, talented, organized and beautiful. She's the best cook and baker - though she'll tell you she pales in comparison to what her mother could do. She can knit, watch a football game and have a conversation simultaneously and never drop a stitch or miss a play. I have so much to still learn from her. I'll never be able to just smile and nod at idiots and then just walk away like she does. Though I try to squelch my inner Julia Sugarbaker more than I did as a child. She's fostered my love of reading, my gypsy soul who loves to travel, and put up with my moods. I never knew that she got annoyed when I had my friends over to rollerskate in the cellar every day after school. I'm sure hearing that BeeGees tape over and over would drive anyone over the age of 10 insane!
As I go to open houses with my BF (yes, in a consultant role only!), the prospect of choosing a house is so overwhelming. How do you know if the electrical system is up-to-date? if the plumbing is just held together with chewing gum and string? if under that ugly wallpaper is just duct tape and plywood?
These are the times I really, really, really miss my dad. He'd know all of those things and more. He died when I was 22. I was just starting to appreciate him as a person and recognize all his great qualities. Being able to see him as a friend as well as my father. We were clashing less and understanding each other more. Now I have all these things in my life I wish he was here to see. Things I want to know. Things I wish he could teach me. I sat in the car on the way home from an open house on Sunday with tears streaming down my face full of frustration and longing.
My parents taught me the importance of family, of being part of your community, of working as a team, of standing up for what you believe in, of owning up for what you've done, of hard work, of laughter and music and a good meal. And though we may not have been a very huggy, I love you kind of family (or at least I wasn't a huggy, "I love you" kind of kid) I always knew I was loved, supported and cherished.
What more could a girl want?
posted by Christi @ 10:09 PM
1 Comments:
Christi thank you so much for sharing. You were certainly one lucky girl, but I'd also have to say your parents were and are blessed to have you as a daughter, inspite of BeeGees everyday after school!!
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